Often I’ve wondered about the significant interruption to life that breast cancer interjected into my life and family just when all of life seemed so “good”. How is it that dedication to health, children, jobs and finances really has little to do with personal control or effort? My crisis was a very deep cry for a new way to think, feel, believe and ultimately to live differently from all that was BEFORE. Even now, I place the cancer fight into a decade of life that is unique from what came BEFORE that moment of diagnosis through what came AFTER the battle, treatment and recovery efforts ended. But, I am also convinced that this decade of interruption brought me to another place of living that begs me to challenge fear and uncertainty by daily crafting of life as NOW.
I have come to know that no matter how sure one can make the details of life, it remains an uncertain force. If children are part of your life, then the uncertainty is multiplied. This past year of economic decline has been a significant and uncertain crisis for many. Lessons learned may include saving more and spending less, but if this financial crisis is to make a difference for any of us, then lessons of gratitude for simply being here and having family or friends should be high on the list. Other aspects of life, like becoming generous with even the little that is ours to share, connecting “in person” and not just electronically with those we love might also get a high mark. Removing isolation, overwhelming stress, feelings of always pushing or yearning for the next… (you can fill in the blank); these are the things that personal crisis attempts to address.
Where family, friends and community connected in my life, I needed to stop “playing my part” and figure out a more genuine path. I confess to being lost along the way. And through the struggle, I know for certain that God is truly love by the gentle, patient women God brought into my life to give light, understanding, laughter, and mostly truth: truth about life (mine and theirs), truth about hopes, heartbreak, faith, love and truth about learning to live beyond brokenness.
Thank you, dear friends for entering my uncertain life…
